If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. []BMany people think of bully () as one child pushing or hitting And do you love, well, jokes? Oh, I didnt tell you? The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. If you are looking for a complete list of Cortana commands, check out this page . What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? 64 What Did The. My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. She says, "Oh, it's like a dick but smaller." 36) The stork is the . History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At - We Are Teachers A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. Viper07__ 3 yr. ago. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. Whats a foot long and slippery? One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family. So what's the best way to get your child to tap into their funny side? Close the door, I'm dressing. Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? What did the penis say to the vagina? 25 Clever Jokes That'll Make You Sound Smart | Reader's Digest What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. ", What did the swordfish say to the marlin? The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. Why don't chickens play baseball? "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. 19. 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You're Feeling Snarky By Mlanie Berliet Updated February 10, 2022 1. Me: *to the person I was talking to* Here's the URL for this Tweet. Beef strokin off. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? She choked. Confused by some of these clever jokes? A buccaneer. 47. Answer: A Diamond Question: What did the cowboy say went he went into the car showroom in Germany? Every 'Who asked' copypasta. You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. The box a penis comes in. Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Did I Ask animated GIFs to your conversations. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. Or it is asked to someone who just said something that doesnt help whatever point the question asker was trying to make. This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. They did unspeakable things to me. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? How can you tell its a dogwood tree? Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? 32. The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. Dont make me come in there! Person . I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. But hay, its in my jeans. "You look drunk.". Be careful to whom you send these. Well, I'm not going to spread it. King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! The man. Why do we like volcanoes? What did the policeman say to the bank robbing skunk? But there are ways to counter it. You're not completely useless. Because he neverlands. Otherwise, close the page now. I was at the funeral of a friend of mine. 39. Why did the student eat his homework? Its To Whom. We dont serve your type.. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. Why is being in the military like a blow-job? It loafs. Halfway. 34. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. 3. Jokes and Riddles - Riddles.com A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. Your responsibility is to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. No? Dont forget to browse these biology jokes that really cell themselves. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. When did I ask? What did the tree say to the tree surgeon? Christian Bale. Why are teddy bears never hungry? Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? How do you organize a space party? Cancel its credit card. short for? Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If a woman talks dirty to a man, thatll be $6.50 a minute. 37. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. "What's the good news?". A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. Wait. 40. How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Whos There? Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. Light travels faster than sound, which is why people like you appear brightuntil they open their mouths. A deodor-ant. Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Why don't male ants sink? How does a squid go into battle? You might enjoy: 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. How did the hipster burn his mouth? 24. Cereal who? Sucka who? Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?". Share Same middle name. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard. This response is clever because it really shows how rude the other person was being because even if your statement was un-asked-for their response to you was too. Wellness Habits + Accountability partner on Instagram: "There's kind of Become the master of pun by memorizing some of these why jokes. Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like theres no tomorrow? Well, I am 100% sure you did. The fact that there are only two errors. Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. They just pick things up as they go along. Because below, we've put together a long list of the funniest jokes the internet has to offer. Because they use a honeycomb. What's the best thing about Switzerland? Lawyer Jokes That Are Criminally Hilarious | Reader's Digest Canada How did the pig get to the hogspital? Last Updated: December 5th 2022. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? These classic What did? Catch up! I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. If you're here, who's running hell? 32 Savage Comebacks for "Who Asked", "Did I Ask", "Nobody Asked," etc A slipper. Pilgrims. Whats warm, wet, and pink? What jokes similar to the "when did i ask joke"? - reddit Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? The German replies, "Nein, just one.". Some are dead. I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep thats got to be the ultimate rejection. How is sex like a game of bridge? GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor more humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. 1. Beano Jokes Team. What did one hat say to the other? Between you and me, something smells. I'm a helicopter! On June 23rd, 2011, Neogaf [6] user NIN90 . What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? Anal makes your hole weak. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. You wait here. Whos there? Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. Why did the candle quit his job? A Mississippi. They lift them up and slam them on the ground. If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. 27 Best Replies To "Did I Ask You?" (Funny & Clever) However, its not always rude. Ivana. Copy it to easily share with friends. Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker? You mustve misheard me. The 55 funniest things to ask Alexa CNET - CNET You can always serve as a bad example. 8. Robin. To Who? A receding hare-line. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. She couldn't control her pupils. How did the hipster burn his mouth? You think youre funny, but youre snot!. All while making the question asker look dumb. Phillipe Phillope. This had the gang in the orchestra pit howling. A pig in a hot tub. Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Buy any 10 and get 50% off. A slipper. The man. They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. What did the big flower say to the little flower? 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. A $100 bill. 38. Country Living editors select each product featured. Knock Knock. Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument, 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation, 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. This one is funny because it can be used to make the question asker seem like they are crazy or have a bad memory and already has forgotten that they did in fact ask you. We suppose you belong to those daredevils. The blonde goes and licks it and says nobody in this building. A cancer-causing ingredient sparked the alarm, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. By following these tips, youll be able to handle the who asked question like a pro and keep the conversation going despite it. I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. How is life like a penis? Because the P is silent! What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost? 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling. Did you hear the rumor about butter? He only comes once a year. If you dont like what I have to say, you are free to walk away or share your own story. Red paint. and our If your sense of humor tends to lean toward the goofy side of things, don't be ashamed. Originally Published: May 29, 2019 When kids want to laugh, they rarely turn to their math homework for jokes. 154 Funny And Best Dad Jokes You've Never Heard 2023 - Ponly How you respond when someone says something you dont like is entirely up to you. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. There's no menuyou get what you deserve. I don't think you should be happy. The pupils they dilate. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. We have more jokes for you, click on big red button below. What did one wall say to the other? Why do women have orgasms? "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. These Why Jokes (with Answers!) Will Always Get a Laugh - Distractify 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. What do boobs and toys have in common? } else { And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." 3. But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. He wanted his quarter back. Because they hit foul balls. Privacy Policy. I had to put my foot down. Whats a adult actress favorite drink? The redhead says it looks like cum. Whos there? Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Why do bees have sticky hair? Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date? same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#h Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. Hey, havent we metaphor? A penguin in the washing machine. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? A chicken sees a salad. You cared enough to dismiss it; that counts. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience.